- What do you think of your sexuality now? Anything new on the homefront? You
said that you hadn't had the best luck with relationships - what do you look for
heterosexual with disbelief that Iím either bisexual or heterosexual or gay.
Basically orientation is confused and undecided, but if you asked me in real
life, Iíd just say "straight" as for relationships... there's one
friend of Jasonís (the one with AIDS) that's been spending a lot of time with
Jason and I and Jason's new girlfriend... and Jasonís friend has taken a
liking to me very much and we all double date. So yes... Edwin DOES have some
romantic interest for the first time ever.
I am afraid to bring some insignificant detail... but yet oh-so important thing
that I included in my journal... but my roommates donít know... and it has to
do with my relationship with Jason... I just wonder how they'll react to it if I
post itÖ but yet again, it's not something I really want to share with them,
or really want them to know. If I did tell them, Iíd be grilled for it and no
one would help me on it. In fact, Jason and I are pretty much ignoring the fact
that it happened, and that's the way it should be going. Itís a weird thing to
talk about... especially with both of us considering ourselves straight right
now... it's just a great admiration and nothing more. We both admire each other
too much. Thatís what it is. Admiration. And words cannot express how much I
admire Jason for his bravery against life... so I can understand why he did give
me that slight kiss. We were both uninvolved with it, pretty much, and it's not
like we exchanged salivaÖ he just kissed my lips somewhat intensely, yet
deftly, and there was no passion in it, but only affection. So that pretty much
sums it up accurately. That relieves me very much. I'm just wondering IF or
WHEN the sparks will fly... and who it will involve.
has been so much going on... we've had the customer come into the deli since May
and totally hit on me... so finally Dan told him I was gay... so he's been rude
since then, but this last week, it got out of hand. I had my hair done in
cornrows and he comes up and he's like your hair is really ugly. So I walked
away from him and he then goes to talk to Shannon, the new girl, about how if
she ever wanted a real man, come see him. Then he goes on to say that I told him
I'd go out with him but then turned him down when he showed up at the store, so
I turned him down because I was frustrated (sexually.) So I heard that and I
walked over to him and told him if he ever said anything again, I was going
straight to management... so he walked away from me, and over to the other side
of the deli, where Sharon (another employee) and a few customers were standing
and proceeded to bad mouth me, saying I was funny, and he did not want to mess
with me because I like girls, and that meant I was crazy. SO I was told that
later and went straight to management the next day. So he came in the next day,
and was given his only warning, and then I saw him in there, and I lost it. I
was scared to death. SO the next day, I go into the deli in the morning, only to
find that right after I left the night before, someone had come in and left me a
note, saying let me show you the ways I love you, and it had a sugar packet, a
creamer, and a condom... and since it was dropped off right after I left (not by
him but someone else) he must of been watching... but it wasn't signed, so we
don't know for sure if it was him. SO I started freaking out. SO now, we've not
seen him for a few days, but someone keeps leaving me notes, asking me if I
enjoyed things I was given... so we've called the cops, and so we have security
in the store every night, I've got an escort where ever I go, as well as cops
(and night crew) driving by my place every few hours. I'm doing a lot better
then I was before... I'm getting sick of being babysat wherever I go, and it
also pisses me off because we don't know it's him that left the notes for sure,
it's just that all roads lead to him being the one
it's good that the police are ACTUALLY doing something. In all those TV movies
where they have odd guys stalking... the police are always "sorry, ma'am,
we can't do anything about it" but at least you do have some type of
service from them. Sigh... I really feel bad for what's happening to you right
we can't nail this guy until he does something else... and because these notes
he keeps leaving (which we know he wrote) aren't signed, and he's only had one
formal complaint against him in the store, he's still allowed to shop in our
store. SO the guy who was harassing me, and now leaving me notes (which talk
about people I was with the night before, i.e. my rides home, so we know he's
watching me) is still allowed to shop until he does "one more
thing"... but what happens if that one more thing crosses to many lines...
Edwin, so how was your date with Jen? do you like her a lot? I hope it was fun.
Um, I just have one question though, are you more attracted to girls then or
guys? Or just whoever is a beautiful person?
cool, but I see her too much as a friend than anything else.
Edwin, that just sounds awesome, sorta. I am scared of so, so many things also,
but I am glad for ya. Its so weird for me too, because I am scared of doing many
things, but the one things that I know is that I have to do them because each
thing I know will help me do and accomplish more and better things later on,
everyone! I'm back from my honeymoon and I'm in my brand new condo in NJ... It
is soooo quiet out here! I think I will really like it though... itís such a
trip being married... he and I are having such a good time... and without his
parents. They have completely disowned him now, and though he cares.... he kind
of doesnít. He is glad to be with me and will deal with those issues later. He
really doesnít want anything to do with them at all anymore... also, some news
on the job front... a rival publisher has offered me an extremely sweet deal,
with a huge bonus, corner office and other perks. I may leave my company...
Iím not sure... I have to decide... I may stay where I am now because I want
to have a baby soon too. (Maybe sooner than I think).
Josie... I'm so glad for you... so how was the honeymoon sex? OK... I asked
because I know EVERYONE ONE OF YOU (especially Scott) was thinking the same
Josie! Welcome the hell back! You have no idea how glad I am that you are back,
mom, hehe, j/k. Well, keep relaxing and tell us more! I hope you and Dar are
having a wonderful time, I bet you are... and all goes well. You made a great
decision and I wish I could only see you.
Josieís back! I'm so happy for ya, Josie. I can't believe our little Josieís
grown up...;-) and it's nice to hear that there is some conclusion to Dar's
situation. Itís not a good one. But maybe it's best that it ended sooner and
it didn't explode any larger than it was. And we might have a little Josie or
Dar running around the house, eh?
waiting for everyone who said they'd be here tonight (hopefully later), I was
forced to browse through the Steven Cardenas website, whom was of Mighty Morphin
Power Rangers fame as Rocky the second red ranger. Sigh. Well, if anyone does
come home tonight or even tomorrow night, I suppose I can wait a bit longer...
then we might be able to muster some type of conversation until we all fall
asleep (hopefully we won't).
think we are beginning to hit a slump... through this whole project I was hoping
that I would meet interesting and diverse people and while that did happen, I
think we are beginning to get bored of each other. I think Edwin's idea to all
get together and talk tonight sounds greatÖ I hope this all works out.
Edwin about last night. I want to talk with everyone, but I just got so tired
because I had such a long day yesterday. Well, I think we can all still chat if
we just leave posts and make sure to get back to them.
you don't need to apologize, you were actually there last night. It was just
that we probably were expecting more people to come last night since they said
they would. And I bet if both of us would've stayed up longer (it was quite
tiring), we could've talked with Colleen.
sorry that I wasnít there to talk with yíall the other night after I said I
would be here, but I had a date and it ran WAY over. I didnít get home until
about 2:30 and I had to get up at 5:00. I am sure all of us that said we would
be there and failed to be have a good excuse as to why we werenít. I will try
to make it from now on, but if I donít, its because I have a good reason.
Joe, Josie, Renee, Scott and I all agreed to come on last night and have some
type of housewives gathering. Beth hasn't been on for a while, so I didn't
expect her, and Colleen comes in sporadically while no one's around, so I didn't
expect her either and Philip forewarned that he wouldn't be around for the next
few days so I didn't expect him. After hours of waiting last night, all I got
was Scott... who did show up and I graciously thank him for actually showing up
unlike the other ones. Since there was nothing, it's like what's the apology
worth anyway, we're all just a bunch of fucking uncommitted bums who aren't on
the board anymore. Its just that none of them are really that committed anymore
to the project, at least I see it that way. errrrrrrrrrrrrrgg. When we say
goodbye in so-many weeks, I truly can say that only six actual goodbyes (of 28
combinations) will be heartfelt and real and the others will be fake or
non-existent due to the fact that we aren't bonding right now. Iím sure
they'll all give out emails and say that they want to meet in real person, but
if they do meet, will it just be the simplistic rudimentary conversations they
have here in this house?
On the next Cyberland:
Colleen, Scott and Edwin get into an argument, which leaves weeks of friendship in shambles. Edwin and Scott become good friends over a conversation about Edwinís life. Philip tells his webmates about his dying grandmother. And Josie blows her lid when she finds out one of the webmates has been leaking information.