Episode Six:

Philip: Joe- So Joe, what do you want to do with your life?

Joe: What do I want to do with my life? Hmmmm well honestly all I truly want out of my life is lots of money and lots of power. Family, fame, love- all that is unimportant to me. I know I sound shallow but its what I want. I donít want kids... I would like a wife but a steady live-in girlfriend would suit me just fine. I am really into my career... I know I just started and I'm only 22 but I know what I want... and I WILL GET IT...

Scott (Confessional): Joe says he may sound shallow when he says all he wants is power and money? YA HE DOES.

Renee: Way to go, Joe. I really respect people who not only know what they want, but also know that they will have no problem getting it. I am with ya on the kids thing... I really do not see any room in my life for them. The husband/live-in significant other thing is right up my alley.

Scott: Joe, Iím sorry, but how can you say that all you want in life is money and power? Like, that concept is just so incredibly foreign to me and I just want to understand what you're saying.

Joe: Scott, if you donít share my beliefs thereís probably no way I can make you understand. I'm really not a bad person. Thatís what I want from life. Like I said, you can think of me as shallow or as an asshole but I am very career orientated. The only person I need to make happy is me, when I have that then I can worry about a wife and whatever. I'm not white picket fence, suburbia, PTA, little league. My life style may be foreign to you but when people tell me they canít wait to get married, thatís weird to me. DIVERSITY, SCOTT... it makes the world go round.

Renee (Confessional): Our first fight on the board... and it seems to be between Scott and Joe. I can see very clearly where both of them are coming from on this. I feel that Joe is really defensive because his lifestyle choice is very "foreign," as Scott would say, and new to people. I wholly understand that Scott finds it hard to believe that people can make such selfish career choices, but I have found that my choices regarding my future lifestyle have been very liberating.

Scott: Um, ok, Joe, chill out. I think you are reading way too much into my words. What I say is exactly what I mean and I choose my words very carefully so that they have no other meaning than what the words mean together. Nowhere do I say I that you are shallow or an asshole so don't jump to conclusions. Also, because I don't share your belief on this topic, doesn't mean I don't think it is just as important as my belief. I simply wanted to know why you believed this because I value something different, thatís all. I already know that diversity makes the world go round and I value it more than anyone. I do not appreciate how you communicated this to me...  itís like you talked down to my like a small child, like I didn't know anything about diversity. Ok, thatís all.

Scott (Confessional): Ok, right now Joe is acting like a complete idiot and a moron because he is acting like a child. Before speaking, he needs to think and take words for what they are. He needs to learn how to communicate and not talk down to people because I know tons about "DIVERSITY", as he puts it and am extremely open to most anything. Well, I already said I lost some respect for him, and now I loose more. I will talk to him when I have to from now on unless he changes his attitude.

Joe: Scott, I'm sorry I came down so hard. I've been put down by a lot of people for the way I choose to live my life and by what I want in the future, so I guess my defense was up when I read your post. YOU STILL MY BUD SCOTT?

Scott: Thanks, I really do appreciate that and I just want you to know that with me you never have to have your defenses up because I am not like "the rest of the people". I only want to learn and discover new things and I just think that thatís what we are doing here and thatís my reason and purpose for being here.  

Josie: I must apologize for being lax here in my posting, but I have been getting all the minor details straightened out for the big day... I can't believe that one week from tomorrow I will be a married woman... itís just so much to process... I mean, I realize that I've known that I'm getting married and all for about 2 years now, but with all the planning and distractions, it has kept me from absorbing the enormity of the whole situation... next week, I'll have a husband... I'll have a different last name... I'll live in a different place. I mean, god, I can actually have SEX with him in a BED that is OURS. I can stop taking my birth control if I so choose... I have a great career but I crave motherhood. I will have to change the monogram on my towels and suitcases. I'm driving myself nuts. If I am forgetting anything important, please remind me so I can obsess about that too. Thanks guys...

Renee: That was poetry, Josie, pure poetry! I am soooo happy for you. It is so exciting to see someone so enraptured with officially becoming a part of someone else. Its so sweet that you have so much appreciation for the "little things," as my best friend and her boyfriend put it. Good luck with everything... and keep this board on the periphery if you must... you have a wedding to think about!!

Scott: Hey Josie, Iím so glad to hear from you. I missed you, I did. Well, anyways, I would be thinking of al those little, weird things also because thatís what I already think about when I envision myself preparing to be married. I am so excited for you and all those small things are a part of marriage I guess. Rock on sister friend, haha, ok, yes, I am lame, but oh well.

-

Joe: Well I eventually made the decision last night and ended up going to a party down the street at my friend Melissa's... I drank more than half a bottle of tequila (my liquor of choice) and did some illegal substances (I DONT WANT HEAR IT FROM ANYBODY) and somehow found my way home... well I'm paying for it today... Headache from hell!!!!!!

Beth: Sounds like you had an awesome time... but a half a bottle of Tequila? I'm impressed! All shots, I assume?

Joe: At first then I got so hammered I was drinking out of the bottle

Beth: I think the more important question (mas importante pregunta?) is when you got to bottle sipping, were you wearing a sombrero? That drives us women wild. ;)

Joe: No actually I wasnít wearing anything... I decided that the best way to get liquored up would be in the nude.

Beth: Ah... a man after my own heart. Actually, I prefer drinking in my snowsuit... y'know, boots, snow pants, ear muffs, the whole nine yards. All of the padding really comes in handy since I have a tendency to fall over a lot...

-

Scott: Hey, where the hell is Edwin? He hasn't posted anything in sooooooooo long. I hope heís ok, but he was like the person who posted the most I thought. This is weird... EDWIN... Edwin... Edwin???

Philip: Do you think he might have gone to Chicago?

Philip (Confessional): I really hope Edwin is okay. I know his friend in Chicago was dying... he's not around here, so I'm guessing that's where he's at. I hope they can both find strength & maybe even some hope in this difficult time.

Edwin: Good guess Philip. I kinda rushed out of California without remembering to tell anyone in what I was going to the Chicagoland area. So is now the time where I explain how I got to Chicago and where I am now?

Philip: Edwin - How's your friend doing? Are things going well with your family?

Edwin: My friend Jason is doing pretty okay, in fact, he's here in the room right now... but I think it'd be infringement of the rules to let him on and talk to you guys. Family is great. And now the word family includes me. I think you all deserve to hear what happened before I left California and what happened with my family. I went to the house that weekend that I was supposed to see my brothers, and I ended up staying the whole day and I talked about what I was going to do with my life this next school year and I also told them that I was heterosexual and I wasn't bisexual. They are so happy with what Iím doing with my life. So now Iím here in Chicago staying in Jasonís room on an air mattress and a sleeping bag. Jasonís been doing very well and he's happy that Iím here. Jason and I either go out drinking or get drunk about every other night now... but Iím pretty sure that neither of us would be getting drunk if we weren't with each other. 

Edwin (Confessional): Wow... it's been a while since Iíve been here... But as for the sexual orientation discussion that I have a feeling will come up... Colleen is going to tell me that I shouldn't be lying and that I should be reveling in my sexuality. I told myself to give it up and be a heterosexual male. Sure, I might be awkwardly staring at some guys... and I might look at gay porn... but I don't think anyone would find me kissing a guy or doing anything like that... time to get drunk now. Goodnight all. Goodnight chair. Goodnight lighting fixture. Goodnight... ah fuck it, good night all and have a nice night while I go and drink myself to sleep.

Scott: Hooray, Edwinís back, yee-ha. I totally can't sleep right nowÖ I can't sleep because I have too much on my mind. So many people in my life expect so much from me and I am sick of pleasing everybody and doing everything for everyone. Like, with my friends, I am always the organizer and leader, with my mom, I am her listener as she complains to me about how much she hates her work and to my sister I am trying to be a god friend and great brother because I know her summer is just sucking in everyway. At my work, I hate it, and since I have been there for a few years, I am like everyone's teacher and helper and I am sick of it. Iím sorry to burden ya all with this, but I just need to let out some stress and steam or I will never fall asleep. I love to be alone and it seems like I never am. Always pleasing everyone else and I am sick of it! Ok, thanks, goodnight... I don't know why, but that just felt really, really good to say to you all. :-)

Scott (Confessional): This is very weird. I am really getting to know the roommates now. I don't have to read each and every post over and over because now I finally have a general idea of who people are and what they are all about. I have a good idea of who I like, and already who I don't like too much. I like pretty much everyone, but I do disapprove of certain peoples' actions and their reasons for doing certain things, and I respect some people more than others. It just doesn't make sense to me sometimes, and seems pathetic at times why people do certain things. I see myself already staying in touch with some people for sure, and not some people for sure also  

Colleen: Scott I understand so much about what you are talking about... you see, I've come home and I've done nothing for myself... it's like at work, it's for other people, and at home... I'm so excited to go back to school, where it's my life, and no one else

Philip: Just try to find some time for you... even if it's just a few minutes a day. You might already do this, you seem like you might - go out & just drive in circles; you can do one of two things - think some thinks out, but do it so you don't upset yourself -or- just not think of anything & drive around for a while.

Scott: Ya, you guys are right, I just needed to hear it, thanks. Well, ya, I feel ya Colleen, I can't wait to get back to MY life back at school where it is me for me. I feel better this morning though and its cool.

Colleen: Well... I came to two realizations today in my life... and you know I just have to share them with you. As I was slaving away at SAFEWAY today, I realized that it must be easier to sell my body on the street... and I'd make a lot more money. As I sit and read this board, I think we are the "London cast" of the Real World... all-managing to get along. Yea...and my dog has fleas.

<End>

On the next Cyberland:

Renee, Joe and Edwin get into a deep conversation on Edwinís decision to be heterosexual. Beth gets some unexpected news and it is the last night when Josie will be single.